CRIKEY!!!!!

I take lessons from “Putin’s Playbook”. Two Salty Dogs will ruthlessly invade Waldoboro unless everyone on my newsletter list turns in all their monthly disposable income, pocket change, John McClane, and all Nakatomi Corporation bearer bonds.

I’m serious this time.

Either way, buy stuff here this month, so it’s worth continuing to create original, even misleading content. I swear if you don’t buy a bunch of stuff this month, I’m just going to copy and paste stuff from old 80s weightlifting magazines.

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ALL HARNESSES ON SALE

i like clams i like clams
They are pasty
They make me feel like a man
They make me feel like a man

i like clams
They are pasty
They have shells
That I crack
I find the love inside
I dip them in butter
And I crush them with my teeth.

I receive pleasure from the body
That I put in my mouth

i like clams
They are pasty
They make me feel like a man
They make me feel like a man

Steam or Cherrystone
Small Neck or Fried
Everything is guaranteed with joy inside

i like clams
They are pasty
They make me feel like a man
They make me feel like a man

I like a cambake with my baby
4 dozen in the jar
I eat clams with every meal
It’s human
‘Cause they don’t scream
Steam or Cherrystone?
Calling all the clams in the world
To get closer
i want to be your friend

i like clams
They are pasty
They make me feel like a man
They make me feel like a man

i like clams
They are pasty
They make me feel like a man
They make me feel like a man

Steam or Cherrystone
Small Neck or Fried
Everything is guaranteed with joy inside

Oh my!

I like clams – Taken from the album “Spawn” by Harm Farm – Click on the link to have the proof that I did not invent anything.

Oh yes. And we have a sale on dog harnesses. Even the brand new ones from Belted Cow if I put them all on the website before the painkiller prescription expires.

ALL HARNESSES
NOW 25.74% OFF!
Use promo code: ILIKECLAMS
>

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Read our latest newsletter full of this commercial waste here: https://mailchi.mp/twosaltydogs/the-salty-paws-may-2022-7225892

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